My last post may have been a little extreme. It was just one of those nights. People warned me that moving to Provo wouldn't be easy but I guess I just really had no idea what I was getting myself into. This town is a whole new world. I really am just one baby fish is a huge sea. Although I will say... After many upset nights and uncomfortable introductions I have worked my toes into this little town. I definitely have work to do, but for now I feel pretty good.

How about a brief synopsis shall we?

A few words. Lots of pictures. My Utah life thus far. 

1. My bestie got married. August 22. 2012. Single handedly one of the most beautiful days of my life. Mariah and Benson were made for each other. They are perfect. I love them. 

2. My darling roomies/besties and I went to Lake Powell with some of our ward to watch conference. Talk about a good time. Can I go back?

The moment when I got up on the wake board has got to be one of the most exhilarating times of my whole life. I was so incredibly happy.

omg.... bestiessss.

Photo cred: Scott Knudson (he's kinda cool)

Only the best ward in Provo.

3. I left early with two of my roommates Holly and Hayley so that we could attend the Sunday afternoon session of conference in Salt Lake. Pash and I weren't supposed to go but last minute Mariah gave us two tickets. So grateful for that. What an amazing day that was. I love conference.

Arn't they the cutest? I love them.

4. My baby sister Madalyn Mae turned 17 on October 13th. Can we all take a moment for this little bundle of love? She is getting old. I am excited for her but... I think I would rather she just slow it down a little bit. Love you babygirl. You rock my world. I could not ask for a better sister and friend. You are incredible.

5. I went to a huge Halloween dance party "HallowFunkaWeen" with my roomies and some good friends. We had a blast. I could definitely go without all the skanky costumes and the nasty dance moves BUT I was in great company and we made our own fun. I had a blast.

Scott Knudson: Dead Mouse

 Pasha, Holly, and I.
"I LIKE DOING HOODRAT STUFF WITH MY FRIENDS"

oh sorry bout it. killin it.

We like to have a good time. 

If there is one thing this guy is good at... it is Gangnam Style...

 Mr. Keith Allen. I adore him. Such a great friend.

THE GROOPIES. 

Ladies and Gents, that is all.
Goodnight.

Provo.

I hate this place.

dang good.

My life is so good. So dang good.

Today I got a FREE scalp treatment. Also known as: "a little bit of heaven". They clean your whole scalp and then massage your head for T.E.N. minutes. Yes, I know... heaven. Did I mention it was free? Shwing! And, since I was feeling so good afterwards,  I completely forgot that I was even upset at the Paul Mitchell lady for not sending in my papers. And now im super over it cause it was hours ago. I highly recommend everyone trying this scalp treatment thing. You really can't go wrong. 

So at this point, my day has been pretty fantastic. Nothing to complain about. (Except for maybe being a wee bit bored at some points. But, I am sure I will wish I had that free time once it is gone...so, I'll just be grateful.) And, to top off this already great day... It's Game day! First home BYU game of the season. BYU vs. Washington State. And don't you worry... I got the sports pass, so I plan on attending very regularly. Who knew I would ever enjoy a football game?  Can't say I wasn't a little confused here and there... but, overall it was a success. I am feeling rather confident in my football understanding abilities. I went with Zacky, Pash Star, and Paul (Pasha's man). It was good times. We got some delish mexi food afterwards.. which I am now regretting. So typical.

Anyway. I am not really one for writing about what I did during the day... but, I am just so happy right now. I don't really have a ton of friends yet, or much to do during the day, but I love where I am. I love what is coming up in my life. I really couldn't be more excited to start school and get started on creating a great career for myself. 

Lastly... "That the Lost May Be Found" by: Elder M. Russell Ballard is such a great talk. If you watched last conference, than you probably know what I am talking about. I love rereading conference talks. They always have the most perfect words that you were searching to find. I loved this talk tonight. I know I say this all the time... but, I still feel like I don't say it enough, I am so grateful for the gospel. I really can not picture my life without it. I don't want to. It is the sole reason for my happiness and success. It is truly incredible what a difference it makes in my life. What more could we possibly ask for? We have been blessed with the fullness of the gospel. Jesus Christ died for me. He made all of this possible for me. And he is awaiting my return. By that time, I will have a husband and a family of my own. Oh, the joys life has to come. I am so grateful. 

I loved today.

Raise your hand if you have the greatest fam! -hand raised- Can I get an Amen?

Since I sorta crashed my car, my parents helped me move my butt to Utah. They picked me up from Texas.. drove me to Oklahoma, I flew to Utah, and a week later they drove all my crap to me. I have more crap than any 20 year old girl should ever have. whoopsie. They arrived yesterday. It only took them like a million hours to get here. (troopers...) Oh, and they brought my cute big/younger brother with them.

{Let's have a few words about Mason, shall we? This boy, I adore. He is the sweetest, most gentleman guy I know. Guys... take notes. AND He just got his mission call. He is serving in the Tacoma, Washington mission! Those people are so lucky. They are about to get one amazing dude. We had so much fun yesterday shopping for all of his mission things. When I say all, I am not kidding. That boy will be so set. And looking sharp I might add. I am so glad we god so spend a couple days together. Love you kid.}

To top off the fun I had with most of my fam... my mom took me for a little "back to school" shopping. I am more of a colorful clothing kinda girl. When I say that I mean, I own THREE black shirts. Just three. And for the next 13 months I am required to wear all black. Just black. So drab. Three shirts over and over and over? Yikes. Thank heavens for moms who put together cute outfits. I think I am ready for school. Although everything is black, I am so excited about my new goth wardrobe. (mostly because I got black spiked boots. siiickkk)

Anyway.

I miss my mom already. Come back? Please? I don't really have friends yet. Oh brother. Wish me luck this week. Should be interesting.

Until next time. Adios Amigos.

Sweet Reminders

Is there ever a "good" place to begin? Probably not when you abandon your blog for weeks/months at a time. I think I will just start HERE. 

HERE I am. In Provo, UT. I really made it. How? No clue. I swear everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. Every penny I didn't want to spend, was spent. Everything that could have broken...broke. After every bump, I would try to talk myself out of the move. Every reason for me not to go seemed to be sitting right before my eyes. 

I never got a "You NEED to be in Utah" kind of revelation. I also never got a "You NEED to stay in Texas" kind of revelation either. Months and months I prayed and searched for that answer. Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing? I never received a specific answer. But, eventually I knew in my heart that whichever decision I made; It was going to work. Either direction I would go was going to be great for me and I was going to be happy. 

Beginning of summer came. So, I made my decision to move to Provo. I can't tell you how many times I questioned my move. At times, I wanted to give up and not go. Everything in the book went wrong. I finally got that feeling. The one where you know you need to push through it... and get your butt to Utah. So.... I am here. I made it. My computer may have died, I may have had lots of extra rent to pay, I may have totaled my car, I may have had to leave the most precious little girl, I may have lost tons of money that I worked so hard for, and I may have had a few down moments. BUT. I made it here just in time to spend a few days with my best friend before she got married. I get to be roommates with Pasha again. I live 4 minutes away from my brother. I live in a great home. I have a super fun ward. And I start school in 3 weeks. 

I have been in Provo for three days. Just three. The adjustment is....... interesting. I am nervous and scared. I feel out of my element. But, I am so excited. Things are looking up, right? I was feeling a little down. I logged into my blog and read my last post. It is exactly what I needed to here. Such a sweet reminder. How is it that I so often forget about the love my Savior has for me? He has a plan for me. Every single thing that happens in my life is for a reason. Through every little thing I have faced, I am being prepared for my future. I am gaining a stronger relationship with Him. He is preparing me to be a wife and mother. 

He loves me. He has this all figured out. I could not be more grateful. I feel so confident in where I am and what I am doing. I know its going to take some adjusting and lots of hard work... but it isn't anything He hasn't prepared me for. Things are only looking up from here. 

learning to love.

I have always been told... "In order to truly love someone, you must first love yourself".

Lately this runs across my mind very often. I regularly wonder if I really love myself, and question if I am "ready" to love someone else.

Looking back at my life this past year, tears come to my eyes as I realize how much I have changed; how much I have grown. Sometimes I almost feel ashamed for measuring my worth, and progression based on the things of this world as opposed to my relationship with my Heavenly Father. I wish it didn't take countless sleepless nights and buckets of tears to realize and remember what I have known my entire life. He is proud of me, and he does love me. Therefore, I should feel the exact same way. He knows me. He knows my weaknesses, and through trying them he gives me opportunity to create strengths. That, I am grateful for.

Although I may wish I was 20 pounds lighter, three shades darker, and years further in my education... I would be foolish to measure the woman I have become based on such worldly accomplishments. I know I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father. Jesus Christ created me. He gave me a strong, healthy body that I am so grateful for. He blessed me with friends and family who love me for the dork I am. He trusts me. He has given me leaders who have taught me so much. He has placed, oh so perfectly, the people in my life. Especially this past year, I can honestly say, that every person in my life has been placed there for a specific reason, whether they know it or not. He sent me to Texas to gain some of the most important education I could possibly gather throughout this life. He put me here to become the woman I am to become.

At the temple tonight, with a prayer in my heart, I hoped to find answers. I left feeling amazing as usual, but still answerless. An hour ago I figured it out. I already knew the answer. His spirit was enough of a reminder for me. He does love me. I love me. He gave me, "me". For that I can't thank Him enough. This is just one step of my journey. The best part is...  He has already walked the path, and has left his footsteps for me to follow.

This weekend was rockin!

Typically a weekend comes and a weekend goes and nothing too exciting happens. This weekend was the exception. I had a such a blast with all my friends. Except now, I am dreading work tomorrow. Although I have the greatest job. I don't even know how I scored it. I'm one lucky son of a gun.

So, usually I work on Fridays. Typically from 7-5. All day long. This Friday was different. The family was out of town, which means I get the day off. Boo-ya. Days off = endless possibilities. This day was so much fun.

My little Pashstar and I spent the entire day together. This is normal. Very normal. But today was extra great. Because we got to spend it with some of my fun friends as well.

These are some of my uber cool friends. Except we look like possessed aliens or something. iPhone cameras.

At the end of this wonderful night... I got to skype two of my favorite boys. Mr. Wesley Monahan & Mr. Daniel Whitlock. They really are some of the studliest boys I know. I wish I had a picture of this. I have lots of videos... but I will spare them the embarrassment.

Then. Saturday came. That was another fabulous day. I went to a Cinco de Mayo pool party with my friend Christopher, and some of his buddies from school. I ate too much food. It's okay though because the company was fabulous. Such a funny group of people. I sure did enjoy myself. That evening, I saw the Avengers. That's Pashstar (pic 1) and (pic 2) Mr. Stark himself... aka:Keith Allen. It was a splendid movie. Makes me wanna be a ninja.

Keith is one of my pretty good friends here in Fort Worth. Except he is leaving next week to move back to Utah. Makes me really sad, thinking that I won't be able to hang out with him anymore... but I am happy for him. He is excited. And he is doing great things with his life which is wonderful. He and I served at FHE leaders together and we had some really good times together. You rock Keithster.

Then Sunday came. And again, it was a really great day. Church was wonderful. Fast Sunday is always so nice. I love hearing other people's testimonies. Pash and I made this super delicious dinner and had some handsome boys over to eat and watch the CES devotional. We made a roast, with potatoes and carrots, rolls, and homeade cookies. One day someone will want to marry us cause of our super cool skills. One day.

P.s. Devotional was really good. Elder Jensen is such a great man. Just in case you missed it... there is a link below! I hope your weekend was fabulous too!
http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/watch/ces-devotionals/2012/05?lang=eng&pid=738917358001&pkey=AQ~~,AAAAmBrDwtE~,_58lK-P1xvJ5WTHbRnmdONkYkAiPKoal